Distraction

Lately I can't focus, my mind wanders. Satan is trying to distract me.
I reflected on my journal entries to see where I got off track. They all had something in common.

11/2/09
God,
I am unprepared, overloaded, and distracted. Help me to better equip myself to serve you, Lord, clear my mind of all of these distractions. Why do I feel like there are very FEW decent min on this earth? I know every person you ever made was perfect. I'm not doubting your creation. I know you have created MILLIONS of WONDERFUL men, but where are they? Why do men lust over women in ways I do not understand? (After I was done ranting I came upon a beautiful thought and a very consistent prayer of mine)

I want to pray for my soulmate, that he is loyal to you God, doesn't lust for every girl he sees, doesn't soil himself in any way in your eyes. Please bless him and watch over him for me. Wherever he is, whatever he looks like, keep him safe for me. I CAN wait to meet him because I know your timing will be perfect. -Amen.

11/16/09
Someday my Prince will come. (with doodles of hearts and crowns around it of course. I know, real mature, Becca.) He will be a Godly man with dreams of his own. He will know who he is, and I will know who I am. When we meet, we will remain true to God and ourselves. I want a husband who will pray with me. We will read the Word together; we will look toward God and form a magnificent triangle. At the base, we will always be apart, but as we look to God, we will climb the slopes and draw nearer to God, while shortening the distance between us, husband and wife, so that we may be as close as we can possibly be through our relationship with God. Our Rock, Our Redeemer.

11/20/09
Lord,
You made me realize that I'm so picky in what I want ina husband, and I'm not trying hard enough to be the kind of potential wife that I want to be. I should be trying harder to be everything I want to become because only then, will I ever deserve the man of my dreams.-Amen.

11/29/09
God,
Men will always fall short of you, but help me to one day find my soulmate, who holds the other half of my heart, that will not fall short of my expectations. On your time, whenever it's right. Your timing is perfect. Always. -Amen.

Clearly I am distracted by the male race. There's a constant internal and external battle over tying to please others, myself, and God. It's impossible. I realize that now, because of a friend and his wisdom that never ceases to amaze me. It's true, if I'm not good enough as I am, I should walk,...no....run, away. So if I truly believe I'm the precious teacup that God made me to be, my mind should never be distracted, because that's how I'll know my soulmate and I are right for eachother. And he'll think I'm beautiful, and I won't be able to take my eyes off of him, or stop gazing into his (insert color here) eyes.

Until then,
I'll be trying to be
The best ME
I can be.
So that when I meet him
We can be
the wonderful WE
I've always wanted
to be.