Do you hear that sound?
It's the sound of life passing you by.
You miss 100% of the chances you don't take.
"If you're gonna be somebody, if you're gonna go somewhere, you gotta wake up and pay attention..."
I have been wondering why I haven't really accomplished anything lately, while reading my Bible, and I read story after story of people taking HUGE risks, and listening to God.
Wake. up. call.
Whoosh.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Speed Dial
As I sit alone at night watching YouTube videos of past choral experiences,
I envelop myself in atristic feelings.
I remember the joy of making beautiful music,
The way it sounded resonanting in my ears before it hit the audience,
The way it brought me to tears in rehearsals.
Singing is what brought me closer to God.
Songs like Psalm 23, and selections from Handel's Messiah are my roots.
The first songs I could feel God working in, talking specifically to me.
Like a phone call.
Then there's the countless love songs, that make me extremely happy and jealous at the same time.
Winter by Z. Randall Stroope is a slow choral piece that says,
"Come close to me, my strength, my life."
I can sing that song and pretend like I know what this feeling feels like, but I can only imagine.
So I wait. God, I'm waiting.
Rene Clausen wrote a beautiful piece to his wife for Valentine's Day (this makes me happy and jealous too....and puke a little bit)
that says, "Oh my love's like a red, red, rose that's newly sprung in June. Oh my love's like a melody that's sweetly played in tune. I will love the still my dear, 'til all the seas run dry. So deep in love am I."
God knew I'd have a tough Valentine's Day and this would pull me through. It's like He left this song on my voice mail, to listen to later.
And it worked.
The cadences, melodies, harmonies, and emotion take over me.
Music is more than meets the ear to me.
It's an experience.
As I watch the sea of bright pages turn simultaneously, or like a giant wave across the deep angelic choir, I remember why I do what I do.
It's for God.
So whilst my directors push me to become a better musican, I will stay true to my love for music, and use it for the glory of God. No matter how much fun they try to suck out of it.
Whilst I am humbled by the fact I am not nearly as talented as my comrades, I will praise God for everything he DID give me.
Music is my anti-drug, my release, my paint.
My passion, my hobby, my heartbeat.
My direct line to God.
I envelop myself in atristic feelings.
I remember the joy of making beautiful music,
The way it sounded resonanting in my ears before it hit the audience,
The way it brought me to tears in rehearsals.
Singing is what brought me closer to God.
Songs like Psalm 23, and selections from Handel's Messiah are my roots.
The first songs I could feel God working in, talking specifically to me.
Like a phone call.
Then there's the countless love songs, that make me extremely happy and jealous at the same time.
Winter by Z. Randall Stroope is a slow choral piece that says,
"Come close to me, my strength, my life."
I can sing that song and pretend like I know what this feeling feels like, but I can only imagine.
So I wait. God, I'm waiting.
Rene Clausen wrote a beautiful piece to his wife for Valentine's Day (this makes me happy and jealous too....and puke a little bit)
that says, "Oh my love's like a red, red, rose that's newly sprung in June. Oh my love's like a melody that's sweetly played in tune. I will love the still my dear, 'til all the seas run dry. So deep in love am I."
God knew I'd have a tough Valentine's Day and this would pull me through. It's like He left this song on my voice mail, to listen to later.
And it worked.
The cadences, melodies, harmonies, and emotion take over me.
Music is more than meets the ear to me.
It's an experience.
As I watch the sea of bright pages turn simultaneously, or like a giant wave across the deep angelic choir, I remember why I do what I do.
It's for God.
So whilst my directors push me to become a better musican, I will stay true to my love for music, and use it for the glory of God. No matter how much fun they try to suck out of it.
Whilst I am humbled by the fact I am not nearly as talented as my comrades, I will praise God for everything he DID give me.
Music is my anti-drug, my release, my paint.
My passion, my hobby, my heartbeat.
My direct line to God.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
FAITH
Faith (Feyth) n.: Belief in something you cannot see. SYN: Trust
I recently had a talk with a friend about how much faith I have in God, and that gets me through life, and delievers me. I believed every word I said. I wear a ring around my finger with the precious word inscribed on it. It's what I thought I had enough of, but you can never have enough FAITH.
Hebrews 11
1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.
2-40 Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Esau, Joseph, Moses, David, Samuel, and the Prophets all had FAITH.
FAITH gets us through trials,
FAITH saves us,
FAITH heals us,
FAITH leads us into the unknown,
FAITH leads us closer to God.
This hit me like a 18 wheeler,
I have been praying the same prayer and God is sick of hearing it.
He knows the desires of my heart, and he wants me to have FAITH that he will take care of them, and answer them when the time is right.
I guess having faith ties in with being patient.
I hear you God.
I'll be patiently waiting with the strongest faith inside of me.
For You,
And all you have in store for me
In your wonderful plan for my life.
If you're struggling with something, and you've prayed for it a time or two(or a million if you are me) my advice to you is to let it be. God hears you the first time. Trust in Him, and have a little faith. (or a lot!)
Greater things are yet to come. But you gotta have faith.
I recently had a talk with a friend about how much faith I have in God, and that gets me through life, and delievers me. I believed every word I said. I wear a ring around my finger with the precious word inscribed on it. It's what I thought I had enough of, but you can never have enough FAITH.
Hebrews 11
1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.
2-40 Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Esau, Joseph, Moses, David, Samuel, and the Prophets all had FAITH.
FAITH gets us through trials,
FAITH saves us,
FAITH heals us,
FAITH leads us into the unknown,
FAITH leads us closer to God.
This hit me like a 18 wheeler,
I have been praying the same prayer and God is sick of hearing it.
He knows the desires of my heart, and he wants me to have FAITH that he will take care of them, and answer them when the time is right.
I guess having faith ties in with being patient.
I hear you God.
I'll be patiently waiting with the strongest faith inside of me.
For You,
And all you have in store for me
In your wonderful plan for my life.
If you're struggling with something, and you've prayed for it a time or two(or a million if you are me) my advice to you is to let it be. God hears you the first time. Trust in Him, and have a little faith. (or a lot!)
Greater things are yet to come. But you gotta have faith.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Distraction
Lately I can't focus, my mind wanders. Satan is trying to distract me.
I reflected on my journal entries to see where I got off track. They all had something in common.
11/2/09
God,
I am unprepared, overloaded, and distracted. Help me to better equip myself to serve you, Lord, clear my mind of all of these distractions. Why do I feel like there are very FEW decent min on this earth? I know every person you ever made was perfect. I'm not doubting your creation. I know you have created MILLIONS of WONDERFUL men, but where are they? Why do men lust over women in ways I do not understand? (After I was done ranting I came upon a beautiful thought and a very consistent prayer of mine)
I want to pray for my soulmate, that he is loyal to you God, doesn't lust for every girl he sees, doesn't soil himself in any way in your eyes. Please bless him and watch over him for me. Wherever he is, whatever he looks like, keep him safe for me. I CAN wait to meet him because I know your timing will be perfect. -Amen.
11/16/09
Someday my Prince will come. (with doodles of hearts and crowns around it of course. I know, real mature, Becca.) He will be a Godly man with dreams of his own. He will know who he is, and I will know who I am. When we meet, we will remain true to God and ourselves. I want a husband who will pray with me. We will read the Word together; we will look toward God and form a magnificent triangle. At the base, we will always be apart, but as we look to God, we will climb the slopes and draw nearer to God, while shortening the distance between us, husband and wife, so that we may be as close as we can possibly be through our relationship with God. Our Rock, Our Redeemer.
11/20/09
Lord,
You made me realize that I'm so picky in what I want ina husband, and I'm not trying hard enough to be the kind of potential wife that I want to be. I should be trying harder to be everything I want to become because only then, will I ever deserve the man of my dreams.-Amen.
11/29/09
God,
Men will always fall short of you, but help me to one day find my soulmate, who holds the other half of my heart, that will not fall short of my expectations. On your time, whenever it's right. Your timing is perfect. Always. -Amen.
Clearly I am distracted by the male race. There's a constant internal and external battle over tying to please others, myself, and God. It's impossible. I realize that now, because of a friend and his wisdom that never ceases to amaze me. It's true, if I'm not good enough as I am, I should walk,...no....run, away. So if I truly believe I'm the precious teacup that God made me to be, my mind should never be distracted, because that's how I'll know my soulmate and I are right for eachother. And he'll think I'm beautiful, and I won't be able to take my eyes off of him, or stop gazing into his (insert color here) eyes.
Until then,
I'll be trying to be
The best ME
I can be.
So that when I meet him
We can be
the wonderful WE
I've always wanted
to be.
I reflected on my journal entries to see where I got off track. They all had something in common.
11/2/09
God,
I am unprepared, overloaded, and distracted. Help me to better equip myself to serve you, Lord, clear my mind of all of these distractions. Why do I feel like there are very FEW decent min on this earth? I know every person you ever made was perfect. I'm not doubting your creation. I know you have created MILLIONS of WONDERFUL men, but where are they? Why do men lust over women in ways I do not understand? (After I was done ranting I came upon a beautiful thought and a very consistent prayer of mine)
I want to pray for my soulmate, that he is loyal to you God, doesn't lust for every girl he sees, doesn't soil himself in any way in your eyes. Please bless him and watch over him for me. Wherever he is, whatever he looks like, keep him safe for me. I CAN wait to meet him because I know your timing will be perfect. -Amen.
11/16/09
Someday my Prince will come. (with doodles of hearts and crowns around it of course. I know, real mature, Becca.) He will be a Godly man with dreams of his own. He will know who he is, and I will know who I am. When we meet, we will remain true to God and ourselves. I want a husband who will pray with me. We will read the Word together; we will look toward God and form a magnificent triangle. At the base, we will always be apart, but as we look to God, we will climb the slopes and draw nearer to God, while shortening the distance between us, husband and wife, so that we may be as close as we can possibly be through our relationship with God. Our Rock, Our Redeemer.
11/20/09
Lord,
You made me realize that I'm so picky in what I want ina husband, and I'm not trying hard enough to be the kind of potential wife that I want to be. I should be trying harder to be everything I want to become because only then, will I ever deserve the man of my dreams.-Amen.
11/29/09
God,
Men will always fall short of you, but help me to one day find my soulmate, who holds the other half of my heart, that will not fall short of my expectations. On your time, whenever it's right. Your timing is perfect. Always. -Amen.
Clearly I am distracted by the male race. There's a constant internal and external battle over tying to please others, myself, and God. It's impossible. I realize that now, because of a friend and his wisdom that never ceases to amaze me. It's true, if I'm not good enough as I am, I should walk,...no....run, away. So if I truly believe I'm the precious teacup that God made me to be, my mind should never be distracted, because that's how I'll know my soulmate and I are right for eachother. And he'll think I'm beautiful, and I won't be able to take my eyes off of him, or stop gazing into his (insert color here) eyes.
Until then,
I'll be trying to be
The best ME
I can be.
So that when I meet him
We can be
the wonderful WE
I've always wanted
to be.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
My head
If you knew what was in my head,
I wouldn't have any secrets.
Without secrets,
There'd be no suprise.
Without suprise,
There'd be no chase.
No doubt.
No worry.
Just reassurance.
Just a spade.
I wouldn't have any secrets.
Without secrets,
There'd be no suprise.
Without suprise,
There'd be no chase.
No doubt.
No worry.
Just reassurance.
Just a spade.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Eyes Wide Open
Sometimes friends are the greatest teachers.
I think I've had enough to learn quadrouple,
If only I'd listened, been humble,
Examined everything they had to say.
Had I sought out more opportunities to grow,
I'd be huge in an awesome way.
The first step is realizing the chances before me.
My eyes were too blind to see.
My head was so buried in a school book
I forgot to stop and take a look.
The second step is seeking You,
With all I have, with all I do.
There's a reason why "Listen" and "Silent" share exact letters
They go hand in hand, always together.
My lips are sealed, you have the key,
When I listen give it back to me
I'll speak your word, I'll say your name,
I'll be your hands, You'd do the same.
With eyes wide open, pour on me Your Love,
So I can fly on wings of a dove
To Heaven, and back
To stay on track
As I focus on you,
In all that I do.
The Third step will deliver me
Effortless eloquency
A habit, unwavering
Second nature, unshaking.
Prayer, Praise
Living your ways.
Helping others,
Selflessly.
I think too much, but not enough
I know what I want, but have no clue
I know what I want the future to hold,
Yet I have no control.
God is my driver, my refuge, my sight
He's the only one in darkness makes light
With eyes wide open, and ears unmarred
I will Listen and wait for You
In every story, it's You I'll seek
Help me to bring you Glory.
Teach me.
Protect me.
Guide me.
Use me.
I think I've had enough to learn quadrouple,
If only I'd listened, been humble,
Examined everything they had to say.
Had I sought out more opportunities to grow,
I'd be huge in an awesome way.
The first step is realizing the chances before me.
My eyes were too blind to see.
My head was so buried in a school book
I forgot to stop and take a look.
The second step is seeking You,
With all I have, with all I do.
There's a reason why "Listen" and "Silent" share exact letters
They go hand in hand, always together.
My lips are sealed, you have the key,
When I listen give it back to me
I'll speak your word, I'll say your name,
I'll be your hands, You'd do the same.
With eyes wide open, pour on me Your Love,
So I can fly on wings of a dove
To Heaven, and back
To stay on track
As I focus on you,
In all that I do.
The Third step will deliver me
Effortless eloquency
A habit, unwavering
Second nature, unshaking.
Prayer, Praise
Living your ways.
Helping others,
Selflessly.
I think too much, but not enough
I know what I want, but have no clue
I know what I want the future to hold,
Yet I have no control.
God is my driver, my refuge, my sight
He's the only one in darkness makes light
With eyes wide open, and ears unmarred
I will Listen and wait for You
In every story, it's You I'll seek
Help me to bring you Glory.
Teach me.
Protect me.
Guide me.
Use me.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The best worst ending
He broke my heart, shattered my world, tore me down, slashed my self esteem, and left me to die. Why? I have no idea.
Here’s the happy part. God saved me. He delivered me. Showed me who I really am, and what I truly deserve. He was nowhere near what God has planned for me. As you can read above, I WAS SO HAPPY and in love. But knowing that one day I’ll be even happier thrills me, and I pray to God every day for a loving relationship focused on him. I will never stop thanking him for my blessings.
I will love again, and I am not afraid. I am no longer broken, shattered, or dead. I’m so alive in Jesus Christ, the most important thing in my life.
The BIGGEST lesson I have learned from all of this is that just because you’re IN LOVE does NOT mean that he is THE ONE.
It’s been nine months since that horrible, WONDERFUL day. And knowing that I’ve already learned this much, reminds me that God is in control and he’s working very fast in me. I am his vessel, and I can’t wait to see who he brings into my life next. I am so blessed.
Here’s the happy part. God saved me. He delivered me. Showed me who I really am, and what I truly deserve. He was nowhere near what God has planned for me. As you can read above, I WAS SO HAPPY and in love. But knowing that one day I’ll be even happier thrills me, and I pray to God every day for a loving relationship focused on him. I will never stop thanking him for my blessings.
I will love again, and I am not afraid. I am no longer broken, shattered, or dead. I’m so alive in Jesus Christ, the most important thing in my life.
The BIGGEST lesson I have learned from all of this is that just because you’re IN LOVE does NOT mean that he is THE ONE.
It’s been nine months since that horrible, WONDERFUL day. And knowing that I’ve already learned this much, reminds me that God is in control and he’s working very fast in me. I am his vessel, and I can’t wait to see who he brings into my life next. I am so blessed.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Pearls & Curls
As I hop out of bed and walk towards the mirror,
the primping begins.
Clean teeth, pink cheeks,
eyes lined, lashes untwined.
All this.....why?
Abs flexed, tan legs,
hairs curled, add some pearls,
do a little twirl,
& go out to face the day.
This routine is exactly that,
...routine.
Why have my habits become so habitual?
to becon attention,
like I need it to be happy?
Isn't God's Love and attention enough?
His affection is all I need.
He is the only man I should long for.
Should.
The truth is...
Girls just want to be needed,
need to be liked,
and like to be wanted.
the primping begins.
Clean teeth, pink cheeks,
eyes lined, lashes untwined.
All this.....why?
Abs flexed, tan legs,
hairs curled, add some pearls,
do a little twirl,
& go out to face the day.
This routine is exactly that,
...routine.
Why have my habits become so habitual?
to becon attention,
like I need it to be happy?
Isn't God's Love and attention enough?
His affection is all I need.
He is the only man I should long for.
Should.
The truth is...
Girls just want to be needed,
need to be liked,
and like to be wanted.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
His voice, not mine
From Psalm 29
The voice of the LORD:
is powerful
is majestic
breaks the cedars
strikes with flashes of lightning
shakes the desert
twists the oaks
strips forrests bare
& I think MY voice is great?
Think again honey.
The voice of the LORD:
is powerful
is majestic
breaks the cedars
strikes with flashes of lightning
shakes the desert
twists the oaks
strips forrests bare
& I think MY voice is great?
Think again honey.
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