Drunk on hope.

I received news today. I'm not sure whether it's good news or bad news, but nevertheless it is news.
I can't dance for another two weeks. boo!
God has taught me many things since my last post. Things like "Shut up and listen" all the way down to: "Do you love me?" "Of course I love you!" "feed my sheep" you know how it goes.
My biggest struggle currently is finding happiness and fulfilment during this time.
Being active makes me happy, doing activities makes me happy. Sitting on the couch does not do it for me. T.V. doesn't either. Being the "Crip" is no fun.
Gimpy is not Becca. I don't slow down. Not for anything. Not ever. Not this time. Wait....yep. This time I have to. There's another lesson. Maybe to be the person I'm working so hard to be I need to stop. breathe. and think. Not to be confused with breathing while thinking about not stopping. a.k.a. usual Becca style.
Sitting and talking with God, listening, and hearing what I need to hear has been really hard. I'm not going to lie, it's still not happening the way I know He wants. Why is it so hard for me to stop? What do I have to lose? I have EVERYTHING to gain. That's the reality.
I know God will heal me, in his time, on his watch. I am drunk on hope that I get better tomorrow, but let's face it. It's probably not going to happen. I am not a superior being. If it takes 4-6-8 weeks to heal a bone, I'm human just like everyone else, and it's going to take that long for me to heal too. What was I thinking?
I was thinking "not me. not a dancer. not my job that I love."
It is me. It does stink.
Dear Becca, life is not a fairytale. Not for you. Not for Cinderella. Not for anyone.

Let's all take in a huge dose of reality. Here it is, on a spoon, open wide:
Turn off the computer and other distractions, dust off that Bible, read it, and pray.
It's truly amazing what you will discover.